Musing: Ramblings of a confused tween!

If you could see, the other side of me
I'm just like everybody else, can't you tell?

I haven't been updating my blog for a really long time I know...that's why my happiest days aren't recorded here. I did go to a shopping plaza on my own yesterday, that was a good adventure for me. Right now, I am locked in my room hammering away at the laptop I had kidnapped this afternoon.... There's a party going on outside, and try as I might I cannot make myself on with this crowd. They're all nice people, don't get me wrong. But somehow I feel more at home with Sathya da and Priya di... I really talking to them. I love their company. In fact, I just might base my future characters on the two of them. They inspire me so much. :) And always make me see something good and something worth finding...a quest worth searching for...if you know what I mean... or maybe you don't. I am quite distracted now...and don't even know myself why I am writing this. I was re-reading a letter today, and kinda made me tear up, and miss someone I love so so much all the more...and the ache in my chest just got a bit more intense. All these people in the party are paired up, even married. It's sweet. In a very sickening way. I know for a fact I don't want to be out there, trying to socialize with them. And know for a even bigger fact, I am not letting ANYONE from my family read this blog. This is a place where I intereact with you guys on a very raw and emotional level. Someone familiar (and judgy) reading would make me change course, and LIE about what I truly feel. I would begin caring so much about hurting the ones I write about, I wouldn't be writing what I seriously think....they'd be bad echoes of what I think I should write.. Okay, I am sounding utterly confused now. Maybe it was the wine that I had...or maybe it was just nothing..maybe I am just missing home and my life a little bit, and cannot find a footing into this silly world... :-/ GOD! I was asked to explain what COMPARATIVE LITERATURE is... I mean, you CANNOT explain our subject till you are learning it yourself. On a happier note, I saw the 3rd Narnia movie and LOVED it....but I'm still disturbed. And maybe I shouldn't be writing now...all I am doing is typing out trash..... I'll write again, when I feel better.....
Good night, my dear ones. I love you and I miss you all! :)