Monday, February 27, 2017

Musings: Ever After

Life is not a fairytale. If you happen to lose a shoe at midnight, you’re not Cinderella. 
You’re drunk.

We grow up with these ridiculous notions of how a Prince Charming is on his way over to you on his shiny white horse. We grow up reading about how Cinderella lost a shoe at midnight, how Beauty was kissed awake from eternal slumber and immediately fell in love with her rescuer. About how Rapunzel falls in love with the only man she’s ever met locked up in the tower. Let’s not get into how the fairytales that we grew up reading were watered down versions of the originals. Let’s just focus on the fact that we grew up on what we believed to be happily ever after wrapped with a bow.

And isn’t it such a rude awakening when you realize that all those fairy tales you grew up reading and believing in, none of them, not even one is ever going to come true?

You could be reading this article of mine and rolling your eyes saying, “Well, sometimes fairytales do come true.” Well, I am glad you found your fairytale. And I am glad that you belong to the infinitely lesser population of people who can claim to have found their happily ever after.

You see, I realized quite the hard way that what Samantha Borgens from Stuck in Love had put into words:

“There are two kinds of people in this world: hopeless romantics and realists. A realist just sees that face and packs it in with every other pretty girl they’ve ever seen before. The hopeless romantic becomes convinced that God put them on Earth to be with that one person. But there is no God and life is only as meaningful as you fool yourself into thinking it is.”

Since the majority of us got brought up on the ridiculous notions of fairy tales, we all have a secret hopeless romantic inside of us. And as we grow up (and thanks to all the new baggage that modern dating has brought with it) we kind of come to terms with the idea that there is no Prince and you will probably not be riding off into the sunset together.

But what these fairy tales fail to teach us is the fact that you don’t need someone to come along and complete you. You’re not half by yourself. What any one of us should aspire to be is learn how to be happy and fulfilled all by ourselves first. We need to give up on the idea that our brokenness can only be fixed if some Prince Charming comes along. That we are all simply waiting for someone to come save us. The truth is no one is coming to save you and no one can save you, until you save yourself. Because everyone is just too busy trying to save themselves.

Fairy tales are more than true – not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten.

G. K. Chesterton

Maybe life isn’t quite the fairy tale you had imagined it would turn out to be when you were six-years-old. Maybe the real happily ever after is just realizing that life in its various shades is just as beautiful. That not every day would be perfect but each moment is real. That the only person who will be there for you even when things go wrong and the ground crumbles underneath your feet will always be you. You are your own saviour.

Isn’t it time you started acting like it? 

Thursday, February 16, 2017

10 Struggles of being in a Long Distance Relationship (Especially when you're a Virgo)!

A Virgo tends to overthink and over analyze everything.
Imagine what it is like for them to be in a long distance relationship! 😊

1. You never quite know when to call! 😫

And when you do call, he's being a smart ass! 😥

2. You tend to overthink every single text message. (Because let's face it, texts can be easily misinterpreted.)

3. But you have no trouble pouring your heart out in e-mails.

4. You would stay up (all night even) if they say they would call.

5. You will actually wake up from your beauty sleep to talk to them even at 4 am.

6. But they might sleep off while talking to you.

7. You miss them but you understand some times there's really nothing you can do about it. 

8. You're constantly checking flight prices and calculating when you'd see each other again! 

9. "Major Missing Happening" is no longer just a phrase for you. 

10. But despite everything, you know every bit of the struggle is worth it when you see them! 



While I wrote the text for this blog post, I wouldn't have been able to come up with these extremely cute graphics had it not been for one immensely talented girl. 

Thank you for all your help and hard work, Anumita. 💕

Anumita Ghosh is a fourth year student of Multimedia Department from St. Xaviers College, Kolkata. She is also the co-founder of The Indian Artist, a platform that brings together budding artists from all over the country. In her spare time, Anumita runs an online jewelry shop called Yours Only.

You can get in touch with her on any of the following social media platforms:

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Musings: Open Letter to My Best Friend

Image Courtesy:
Dear Best Friend, 

I’ve been thinking and over-thinking a lot lately. But how much we have grown since the time we came into one another’s lives. We have always been pretty accepting about who we wished to be. Believe me that will never change. Even if you decide to dye your hair a violent shade of pink tomorrow, I’d still love you just as much as I love you right now.

But let’s not just dwell on appearances. I am your best friend as you are mine, and remember that our friendship is a safe place where you are allowed to be whoever you want to be. I’ve always told you that you should feel whatever you want to feel, without caring much about what the world might think of you. (Believe me, as someone who has cared too much about what the world thinks, it’s not worth your time. And it’s not worth ruining your mental health over.)

I am here for you: every second of every day that you might need me. I’ll tell you funny stories whenever you might need a laugh. I’ll sit with you in silence if you just want to cry and not talk about what has gone wrong in your life. And I promise not to give up on you, even when you’ve given up on yourself.

Now that we’ve got our promises out of the way, let me tell why I decided to write this open letter to you.

The bravest thing you’ll ever do is let someone love you again.

We all have stories, we all have scars. And we all believe that the heartbreaks we’ve suffered cannot be recovered from. That the world has hurt us in unimaginable ways. That there is no road from here that will let us find ourselves again! Let me tell you right now, that’s the biggest lie you can tell yourself.

You are not your past. You are not your mistakes. And you most definitely are not undeserving of love!

Our lives are hard. And we struggle everyday to make each day matter to us in some way or another. If there’s someone who wants to share in your struggle, who wants to know what makes you happy and what makes you annoyed and who wants to just be there (besides me of course), please let that person in?

Just because it did not work the last time doesn’t mean it won’t work out this time. Just because someone didn’t know how to love you, broke your heart doesn’t mean that it will happen this time.

I know you’re tired of risking it all, over and over again. But without risks, there is nothing else left in our mundane lives. I know, because I’ve always toed the line and look where it got me. I’m just as hurt and broken and scared to love as you are!

In this life, no one can guarantee that they won’t break your heart. I am sure I’ve broken yours quite a few times. But you still love me, and you’re still there for me. I’m sure we have fallen apart too but we’ve always found our way back to each other. We have undying faith in our friendship...why can’t we have the same when we learn to love again?

I cannot promise you that you won’t get hurt. That you will not end up crying at 2 am in the morning. That everyday will be full of sunshine and daisies. There will be dark clouds and grey skies, and there will rainfall. But I can promise you that I’ll be standing right next to you, stopping you from falling down. That when you want to cry your heart out at 2 am, I’ll be on the other end of the line, listening to you as you blame me for telling you to let your guard down. I’ll gift you roses on the days the sun shines a little less bright, and we can dance together in the rain (even though I’m terrible at it) until the storms pass, and the sun shines again.

This life is beautiful. Our friendship make everything in the world ten times nicer. We have each other’s backs. We will always be there for one another, even when we forget to be there for ourselves.

Why are you so scared? I’m right next to you.
Jump! Jump! I’ll jump with you, holding tightly onto your hand –
And I’ll never let go of you.

Image Courtesy:

Your Best Friend

This piece has also been published on Thought Catalog

Friday, November 18, 2016

Musings: Letter to a Sixteen Year Old

Dear Sixteen Year Old,

I have been struggling to write this letter since the morning. I have been trying to find the right words, because I know somewhere in this world, a scared, terrified sixteen year old needs to read these words.

Listen to me.

Right now everything that is happening to you will feel too much. There will be people in your life who are going to make you feel like you’re nothing. But you’re going to put those years behind you. You’re going to shine so bright. You’re going to become happiness personified. To the outside world that is.

Inside – the battle will always rage on. You’re going to run into the shadows from your past and it will affect you pretty badly. It will mess up your mind and you will go back to feeling insignificant and sixteen, and want to curl up on your bedroom floor that night.

Here’s the part that I want you to read more carefully now.

Do not fight that feeling immediately. You deserve to feel however way you want to feel. But once the thoughts begin to scurry away from your head, you will begin to realise what an idiotic thing this whole ordeal was. If you make it through a night, when the voices in your head have been screaming at you to give up, my dear, that’s the bravest thing you’ve done in a long, long time.

Remember if no one else in this world is willing to help you up, you’re going to have to do it for yourself. Because even though I want to believe that every single person who has crossed my path has something good in them, I cannot deny that we live an inherently selfish world. Every one of us is too busy trying to save ourselves.

As a sixteen year old, I remember feeling so diffident. I remember feeling not pretty enough, not smart enough. I remember never having a line of beaus while most of my friends started going out with people. Had someone to hold onto when their worlds went dark. I remember being hopelessly in love with someone who perhaps didn’t even know who I was. I remember my heart breaking, and sleepless nights. I remember the poetry that came from the anguish of never being loved in return. And here’s the saddest thing I remember: being happy when someone gave me a scrap of attention.
My darling – you are so much more than that! You deserve to be at the top of their priorities. You shouldn’t be an afterthought.

Right now, you’re sixteen and you’re scared and you’re shattered. You’ll learn an important lesson as you grow up. Don’t take yourself too seriously. No one else does. And stop trying to save every lost soul that wanders your way. You’re too good for half of them anyway.

I can tell you that as you grow up, life gets better. I am not saying it’ll be easy. But it will definitely be better. You’ll perhaps still be over trusting and naive. And maybe you’ll never really grow out of being who you are right now. But please remember that you’re a good human being. Maybe you’ll become good at hiding who you are. Or maybe you’ll emerge, stronger than anyone else thought possible.

But right now at sixteen – enjoy your life. Enjoy school. Be wary of the company you keep. You won’t realise it now but you’re only sixteen once and the time will go by rather quickly. And there’s just only so much you can do when you’re sixteen. J

Twenty Seven Year Old

P.S. – You’re going to remember the bad days some times. Try not to dwell too much on those memories. Because, like all good things, even the bad things end! 

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Day 10: Weddings (#100DaysofBlogging)

For most part, the word wedding makes me feel tired. Absolutely tired. I remember my sister’s wedding like it was yesterday and how much I resented not being able to sleep for almost a week! I remember my brother’s wedding because it happened in the beginning of this year and even then, I felt so tired. People see the pomp and flair of weddings. No one sees the hard work that goes into making a successful wedding. Making sure the menu is on point, the guests are attended to, that they remembered to invite everyone. That the venue is good for both the bride and the groom. It’s nothing short of a beautiful celebration for those few days. But you know what people forget? It’s a wedding. Once the music dies down, the guests depart and there’s just silence…that’s when the marriage begins. That’s the moment when it all starts. 

Saturday, October 1, 2016

Day 9: First Impressions (#100DaysofBlogging)

I had a friend who once told me that first impression is the last impression. Too bad I wasn’t too impressed by him. But well, he did have a point. Sometimes are instincts scream at us: warn us, about a person, a place, an incident. Do we always listen to that? I know I don’t. I know that sometimes people make us see what they want us to see. You have to put in the effort, make them comfortable to be around you. First impressions can also be misleading. It has happened. Book covers, for instance, often mislead most of its readers. The point is, sometimes we need to look past the exterior and see what’s inside. Isn’t it?

Friday, September 30, 2016

Day 8: Coffee (100DaysofBlogging)

I am pretty much addicted to tea. In fact, there’s no chance of me ever saying no to a cup of tea. It could be the middle of the afternoon and I’d still be interested in a cuppa! But I also am in the habit of ordering coffee when I visit cafes, when I meet people in coffee shops. I can never bring myself to order tea. At the most, iced teas. But I stick to cups of coffee when I am in these cafes. I really don’t know why. I guess it’s a quirk I developed a long time ago and I’ve never consciously tried to change it. So, if I am sitting alone, reading a book in café, there’s no doubt what drink I’d probably have in my hand!