Aniesha's Musings

"I wonder who you're loving now, I'm guessing we won't work this out... You know what they say, you can't have it  Till you want it bad. I'm way past that. Believe me. If you could be in my life, like you've been on my mind It'd be so easy. I know what they say. They say you'd be happier, Better off without me.  I'm sure it's hard to see me. I'm sure you don't believe a word. Cause it's all been said before. And we're so far from where we were..." - Skyler Fisk 
...And It rained again today, making me relive that quiet walk,   That seemed to have taken place so Many miles away away from reality. Holding hands, and letting the heart speak Instead of the mind...for a change. When silence did finally settle down between uS, the bridge closed... For a second, it seemed aS though the world belonged to you and me. For a minute, the world seemed to fall awaY... The only truth then: was the One that I'd been trying to fight. One where yoU woul…

Story no 11: Chocolate Pastry by Aniesha Brahma

My relationship with Arjav had always been strange. We always fought, screamed and hanging up the phone seemed like the only natural solution at times. And yet, there was a part of us which loved each other a little too much. Almost to the point of being rather insane, I would say.


It was actually a miracle that we parted ways. Okay...I admit it, I initiated our parting of ways. But it wasn't the parting of ways which made me think that love truly bites. It was the way we did it.


"You know, maybe we shouldn't be seeing each other anymore," I said, angrily, "No, not even as friends. You can never be my friend."


"Alright, calm down," Arjav said, pleasantly, "You're disrupting the peace."


"Let me!" I shrieked.


We were sitting in the cafe, talking about things. Rather shouting about things and perhaps, still not willing to let go off what we couldn't change. At le…

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words will never harm me." - Nursery Rhyme 
The Kind Stranger
It was the year 2006. The first year when I'd finally been allowed to travel to and fro school alone. I was so excited to be making the trips alone. In fact, I had actually been quite excited about traveling alone. Being sixteen, of course, the first taste of freedom always seems like a little bit of heaven. 
With great excitement, I boarded the auto rickshaw, next to young man. He looked about twenty years old. I had never been fond of the middle seats in autos, because you get crammed between two strangers. And sometimes the experiences are not pleasant. Since many a girl and woman have become victims of eve teasing in that very seat... 
Anyway, this twenty something had with him a huge box from Dominos. He caught me eying the packet, and then grinned at me, when our eyes locked. Now, right before the auto could start, another man took the other seat in the auto. He …

"The main reason why a daughter needs a dad is to show her that not all the boys are like the ones who hurt her." ~ Anonymous
My Mother's Father: My Grandfather 
My mother's father passed away even before my mother got married. It is, therefore, no surprise that I have never seen him.But the stories I've heard about him from my mother has painted a vivid living image of his in my mind. My mother's favorite sentence when it comes to describing him is, "He was born way before his time. He had too much of foresight, you know. And no one in his family appreciated that." 
He had predicted the Bengal would get partitioned and had asked his father to move to Kolkata as soon as possible. His father had refused, telling my grandfather to mind his own business. But when his prediction did come to pass, his family lost everything. In stead of saying, "I told you so," my grandfather took everyone of his surviving family members in and helped them get …

You knocked on my window, when I'd shut myself out from the world.
On second thoughts, I decided that tonight to be one silly girl.
Under the watchful eyes of the moon and the twinkling stars,
A friend seemed to need help, because he was coming back from the bar.
Really! I didn't know it that night, that you'd wake the next morning and not remember,
Even though the myth says that people only get this way in December.
And there I am again, the little fool that I've always been.
Just when I was getting used to a life alone, you had to come barging in.
As you walk by, you keep talking to me, making it almost a part of your day.
Cursing myself sometimes, because there's this stupid thing where you randomly come in and then go away.
Klutz, dramatic, unmindful....some of the words which just fit you so well.
And before this, I would wait....but now on these stupid thoughts I don't even have time to dwell.
So, I'd tell you now: if leading on and letting someone d…

"Don't talk to me when you're bored. I don't exist to entertain you."

There's a reason, why I love keeping my distance From people.  I don't like it when people come barging into my life, And make me get used to them. Because I love living in isolation,  it becomes hard for me to adapt to new changes. Or even accept a stranger one. There's a reason why I don't believe in talking to someone  Like they are my best friend one day, And forget all about them the next. Because people hurt. Everyone knows that. Except your stupid heart.
There's a reason why we were told to never get  our hopes up. Even during depths of despair. Because most of the time, the one person you'd begin to count on...is almost never there. 
In all these years, the people I've known,  the people I've loved and the ones I met in passing. They all showed me the same thing. People will hurt you. And you still get to decide who  was worth the pain...
But I'm so ti…

Seriously. Just stop.
With the sweet words,
the cute way you flirt.
With the witty remarks,
And everything that makes
her speechless.

Stop saying things which
makes her heart race,
stop hinting at the future,
or telling her dreams.
Stop feeding the hope
that she has kept in her heart.

Because if you are not going to
catch her,
Please don't make her fall for you.

I've seen too many of them victims,
and too many of them being led on,
Broken down and led astray.
Because they believed everything he said.
They told me they were reading the signs,
and there were strong hints all along.

Then they turn their tear stained faces,
and ask me, "How did I read him so wrong?"
While I wrap my arms around them,
Comfort them and tell them there is a better tomorrow.
I wonder why would anyone do this to someone
They claim to love? Or hint to really, really like.

Please stop making her fall for you,
If you're not going to catch her.

I wonder how you'd like it,
If someone else …

I would have been scared to be alone,
Especially on a night like this one.
I would not have gone to the places
where my sleep has fled (tonight).
But that was a long time ago.
And don't you know, I am all right again.
I used to always say things have a way of falling
in place,
Right around the corner, there always is something happier.
And looking at the sweet weather, the lovely gentle breeze...
I have nothing to say to you tonight.
I screamed the words but they fell on deaf ears,
And I tried my best to tell you...
But tonight, I am glad you didn't listen.
Tonight, I am pretty happy to be by myself.
I am not scared, no...not even of the rain.
Because now I know, no matter what happens, 
there is always a way to begin again.

A single heart; suspended by a thread 
and thus began the tug of love.
Between the boy and the girl.
When he wanted her; she didn't want him
When he loved her; she was busy chasing another.
When he waited for her - she was head over heels for another.
And then he moved on; and her gaze turned towards him.
Now she wanted him; but he'd already found several others.
When she finally found the love; he spat on the love.
When she waits patiently for him - he's busy sleeping around.
And then when she finally moves away; he comes back.
But not in the same way like he'd done before.
Yet you would still find that they are stuck 
In this lovely tug of love..
The single heart suspended by the string,
Between the boy and girl;
This brilliant cycle where no one is spared of ego.
And the poor heart is the one suffering.
In this tug of love.

Two years ago, this was the day my life - changed. Back then, I remember being almost paralyzed with shock and happiness. And a voice reprimanding me. And would  till my sanity almost died. Because I remember it like it happened yesterday.  Walking...in that torrential rain. Together: but alone. Two people briefly together. When nothing else mattered; except That kiss in the rain. Every time the breeze begins to smell sweet And the cool wind begins to blow; My mind takes me back to that time and place, Two years ago. The mad tug of war,  Still keeps me up at night - despite the days turning into dust. Stuck in that  day - though trying to move away. Because something or the other leads me  back to you. Can you really be 'just friends'  with 'someone like you'? I'm getting tired now and old - and slowly, my heart is growing cold. Rolling my eyes at people who claim to 'really' like me. I've heard this story before. Don't take me for a fool anymore. …

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