Showing posts from September, 2017

Musings: Of Monologues and Fidget Spinners

I am watching the fidget spinner spin on the tip of my fingers. It is supposed to help me. It’s supposed to calm my mind down. It’s supposed to help me focus. The speed slows down until it comes to a dead stop.
I exhale.
I cannot let my mind wander again. I spin it again. Hoping with the whirring, my mind too can be muted.
Why is it so difficult to make people understand? Why has it been so fucking difficult to make people understand...?
Stop. I move it again. It spins again, merrily. Oblivious to the fact as long as it spins, it keeps my mind from wandering into dark places.
I am not broken. People go through things. People become the sum of their beliefs. People also leave. That has been the constant in life. People leaving, but sometimes they also stay. And we are blessed. We consider ourselves lucky when they stay.  We –
Damn it. How many times would I need to keep spinning this thing on the tip of my fingers, between my forefinger and thumb, how many times would I have to spin thi…