May 25, 2011

Back To School

I've left the part of my life behind,
And sometimes I still search for it...
Though I know that I would never find,
Those brilliant days when I was in school...

I've come far ahead from those times,
When playing pranks and cracking jokes,
Was hand in hand with writing silly rhymes,
In effort to impress both crushes and friends.

I've come away from the most unscarred days,
The time when everything was seen in colors,
The time when "judging" was not one of the ways,
In the language of friendship, that I had known.

And now from the place that I am left standing,
I wonder how those days had slipped past,
How I ever forced myself into this crash landing...
I can't even remember the proper breaths I had taken last.

I seem to be surrounded these days by people who say sorry,
Who put lovely thoughts in your head, and tear your mind,
And turn around and tell you not to worry,
Because they keep hoping, the things you want, you find.

Ah hail the hypocrites, that can't be numbered on your fingers.
Oh my beloved school days and the friends that made that world,
I wonder where all of your thought lingers,
When you think of this silly girl.

I remember those afternoons, when we had all sat around,
And you had all told me I'm too fragile and sweet,
I would always want my friends to surround,
And make my world complete.

Now that I've hit a place which has nothing but loneliness,
I can't help but wonder whatever happened to those days,
When we always knew we could and would laugh at our mess.
Because we just knew there were ways...

I keep wishing that I could go back to best phase,
But I know only forced forwards in the rush of time.
I am lucky that in your hearts I still have that place,
That I claim to be solely mine.

I wish with all my heart that I could go back,
And once again feel the warmth I so miss,
But life...this life is just a rail-road track...
Go forwards, it will always insist!

May 23, 2011

Our Song

When I pick up my guitar these days,
My mind wanders away...
Into those nights when I used to play,
Sweet melodies and just for you.
How was I to know those times would be so few.

You blame me for not trying to make it last,
But I am tired of trying and going back to the past.
Time never stands still - it just goes by too fast.
And I play a new tune, though I know it won't reach your ears.
But I sometimes wonder what you could really hear...

The haunting melodies of a life full of comfort and care,
Knowing too well, you could always come back, because I was there.
I used to tell you that one day you just might wake and find me gone.
Because I getting spent trying to find new ways to play the old song.
Sometimes, I still wonder whether I was always alone.

As I pluck the stings of my guitar,
I wish you every happiness - no matter where you are.
You say I should give one last chance to make things fine.
But I wish you had realized what you had, when you were mine.
Things never did dawn on your head on time.

When I begin to play the song, I had once thought would be for you,
I wonder, whether deep down inside we had loved one another true.
I still don't know what love is nor what one should do,
When it comes into one's life.
Though I did try my best to make things right.

Looking back I wonder if all my love had simply died,
And did you really think I would be back if you cried.
Because there is no coming back - though I've tried.
Our song would remain unfinished to the last.
For you never realized how to take care of it, and time went by too fast.

Our song would forever echo the sad refrain,
Of missing the beautiful kiss in the rain,
And forever remind you of that pain.
When it's a glorious day and the sun comes forth,
Please remember what our love was worth.

Some part of me shall always go on trying to play,
The broken notes of the half-writ words, that have so much to say.
It would still wonder what would have happened if I had stayed.
But there's no strength left in me to go through that again.
I know you'll remember my face each time it rains.

Our song would never finish echoing in the dark,
And I will keep hearing the sounds of your broken heart.
You need never forgive me for not giving you a last chance,
Because you had plenty of them, but you let them go in one glance.
And I have never quite gotten over those beautiful trance.

Of the nights when I have believed you were truly mine.
And I kept telling myself soon things would be fine.
But I still wonder how could I be so blind?
It was for a year, that I tried my best to contain...
The horrible ache, and the numbing pain...

As I the strum the guitar a little more violently,
I realize that it's time that I let things be.
What's the use of thinking about things gone past?
If you truly wanted - you would have made it last.
But time...time played us. It went by too fast....

May 16, 2011

Annie's Tale

It is not that I loved you less,
But you didn't know -
How I made up a mess.
Of fine things. One day.
I was trying to runaway.
I tried to face my fears,
And your face : it suddenly disappeared.
I am truly sorry, and I know guilt doesn't help.
And even you know yourself,
I have fallen pretty badly for another.
Because life is unfair and full of bothers.
You say you can forgive me and start again.
But you have no idea what happens to me, when it begins to rain.
His face is stuck pretty badly in my head.
Though I keep praying, he would from my memory fade.
tell me now, what should I do?
find a way to start anew?
what good would that possibly bring?
seeing your sweet face would just stop my heart from singing...
Wrench my soul apart,
Because I know I broke your heart.
You cannot always pretend,
Just because I am your best friend -
That I can't make no mistakes.
I know, it's me, it's always me, who just got too late.
even if I do apologize,
the same things, the same emotions wouldn't surface in my eyes.
i know now, why they say, you can never go back...
Because life is actually a one way track.

Ashwini's Dream

She sits before the window,
Gazing up at the sky -
Always wondering why...
The dreams of her soul can never die.
She watches the silver moon -
Shinning brightly amongst the blue sky.
There's not a single shadow
In her blank mind; yet to be painted.
With the different hues.
She whispers to the wind -
I do love you.
But if only he could hear the words that fell
from the sweet parting of her lips,
The moon had cast a spell
Upon the girl, who wanted to say a lot.
Yet whenever he came in front of her
She swallowed those words- and herself forgot.
The moon - the light from the silver ball.
It would simply make her fall -
Fall even more helplessly in love...
With her feelings being as constant as the stars above
She sighs and continues to gaze at the moon...
For in her heart, only this love has room.

May 5, 2011

Second Chances

I know that at times,
life becomes difficult...
And there seems to be no other way left.
Than to simply run.
But where's the sense in that?
Because each time you try to runaway -
You come back to the same place again.
Maybe we never understand the extent
of our decisions.
The worth of the people in our lives.
And we simply abuse good things -
Because better ones seem to be always
A little way off...
Twenty one year old and not much idea
about this world.
Yet somehow always finding myself in the wrong.
Never in the right.
Dreams were meant for a peaceful night's sleep.
But life?
Life is much more.
When troubles come, it doesn't mean
it is here to stay.
I know...I just know...
If I'm ever given another chance,
I'll know to make life come around,
turn my way.

May 1, 2011

Seven Shades of Love

I was sitting alone, with music playing in the background,

And he was walking in front of me,

When our eyes met – everything suddenly stood still – there was no sound.

I felt as if in my stomach, butterflies had broken free.

He smiled at me, and said, “Hello”

I simply blushed, because the words failed to come.

And I didn’t know,

That this was the meeting that would change our lives,

This was the moment where I’d begin to get hypnotized.

As the ways wore on,

I caught myself lying in wait for a glimpse of you,

And whenever you saw me, you would smile.

I just needed to know if you felt the same thing too.

But I never had the chance to ask,

Yet your face haunted me in my dreams,

And I kept praying to God to let me understand,

What these really means…

Before I knew it I had fallen in love,

With someone I believe to be an angel from above.

And each time someone asked me if I did like you,

I would laugh and say, “of course not, it’s untrue.”

But the secretly the heart will always wish,

That you understand how much I love you, and acknowledge I exist.

You became the God that I placed above myself,

Always near to me but somehow very far.

It didn’t make me feel terrible,

Because I know it is only at night one can see the stars.

Your sweet face, and smile, I would always worship,

You’re the moon of my darkest nights,

Fears seem to disappear when you would shine bright.

Even the tiniest memory that had you,

Was kept safely locked away in my heart,

I kept going around in circles hoping to find you.

And yet, I was happy to be around you, and never be completely a part,

Of your life, or tell you how I feel,

I knew I was making this difficult for myself.

But it was the pain that made me know how it is actually real.

One day the pain that I had cherished so long,

Got hold of my soul, and the war went on…

The pain wanted to stop hurting me,

It wanted to set me free…

But my heart obstinately,

Refused to let it go,

The two forces wore me out, and I closed my eyes,

I saw your face, smiling at me, saying, “Hello.”

A smile crept to my lips,

And I was finally at peace.

I could hear muffled voices from everywhere,

I could feel warm arms wrapped around me,

I knew that you were there.

“What is wrong?” I could hear a familiar voice cry,

But I had no strength left to reply.

“If you love me, why did you choose to die?”

My eyes fluttered open, and I looked at you,

But our time was numbered – that I knew.

“You didn’t see me, till I was gone,

Don’t worry, dear, your memories will live on.”

I could feel Eternal sleep wrapping itself around me,

As I hugged him tightly, as though

I wouldn’t let him go.

I felt his warm lips pressed against my cold forehead,

I reached out and touched his cheek, and softly said,

“I will soon from your memory fade.”

I know not where he laid me to rest,

But I still remember the warmth, and the lying,

With my head on his chest,

It has been around a thousand years now,

The memories still haunt me somehow.

I don’t know where he lies now too,

Yet I keep wishing, always hoping, he’d come one day,

And say –

“Yes, I did love you too.”

P.S. - This piece is inspired by 7 shades of love that are defined in ancient Arabic literature. Those shades are defined as attraction, infatuation, love, reverence, worship, obsession, and death.