March 30, 2013

Poem: April Beckons...

April is knocking on the door
and it's still the month,
I had been

 waiting for.
Because it's the fourth month 
in the year,
That brings me so much closer
To both my dreams and my fears.

Finally, I will be stepping out
Leave all of those doubts,
At the door.
Because I know now, you
Shouldn't define my life anymore.
You're nothing but a distant memory.
You shouldn't have the stranglehold on me.

Every time your face pops into my mind,
You know what thought comes in?
"That guy probably got laid,
time and time, over by now."
It sends a shudder down my spine.
But then I smile,
Remembering what's to come: April Sunshine.

I wonder who's the real victim here,
You, me, that girl or this new guy...
Because you know, time does fly.
And if you don't do something right now,
It will slip through your fingers forever.
Though you think you're so damn clever,
I remember when you said we would always have time.
I bet you never thought about the April Sunshine.

It's time for new beginnings
And let go of the bitter endings...
If this story has to end, and if you've moved on.
I'd rather you just tell me. Get it over with.
Because every time I talk to you, 
There comes a horrible ember of hope.
Which refuses to go away.
And I can't lead my life this way.
Not anymore.

"I used to say that we were forever, ever, ever...
And I used to say never say never"

Because I cannot lead someone on,
And let them down. Because I am still waiting,
Hoping against hope, and wondering...
I cannot ask someone else to do what
I have been putting myself through.
You really need to stop lurking around behind
Your damned mask and tell me,
"I moved on and so should you."

And believe me, it won't take me
even a second to forget you.
All the so-called good memories,
All the times we'd both just lied,
With a snap of the fingers, I will forget
All the times, the shared secrets and dreams
The fact I was yours and you were mine.

Because the perfect time to move on beckons,
April beckons....
And right around this corner,
there's April Sunshine.

March 29, 2013

Poem: A Rainfall of Words (Original and Translation)

Original Poem: A Rainfall of Words

Just like the rain falls on the parched ground,
Quenching its thirst - that had bothered it for days,
With that sweet smell...that wraps itself in the wind-
The words we exchange,
and the talks we talk have the same effect.

Like the rain comes down and washes away,
The dust and the dirt that had gathered around,
In quite the same way your words come down,
and wash over me.
And my soul is cleansed of all the ill will,
The petty worries that bother.

Like the intoxicating sweet perfume of the rain,
your mere presence washes over me.
Tag the way I feel whenever we talks
as anything you want -
Perhaps a friendship,
beyond the comprehension of many.

And I remain forever in your debt.
When the days are dark; and it feels like rain-
Remember me and smile again.
There are no ways I can thank you enough,
for being with me & bearing me,

And if it happens to rain...
I'll remember your words
Smile again.

- Aniesha Brahma 

 (Perhaps taking Translation Studies course influence my friend, Arka Chakraborty, to translate one of my poems. Thank you so much for such a beautiful translation.)

Translated Version:

কবে বৃষ্টি নামবে এ চিন্তায় শুকনো ফাটা মাটি যেমন ঘেমেছে এতদিন
এবং আজকে নেয়েছে ভেজা ঠোঁট, ভেজা গলায়,
আমি ওর ঘামে ভেজা স্নানের জলের গন্ধ পাই;
তোয়ালে দিয়ে গা মোছা হাওয়ার গন্ধটাও।
ঠিক তোমার সঙ্গে বলতে বসা হাজার কথার ফাঁকে পাওয়া।

পান এবং স্নানের উদ্বৃত্ত জলটুকু দিয়ে মাটি যেমন ঘর মুছেছে,
তোমার প্রথম কথাগুলো আমি তেমন গিলে খেয়েছি
তারপর মেখেছি সারা গায়ে
বাকিটুকু বুকের চামড়ায় সূচিপ্রয়োগ, দুর্ভাবনার প্রতিষেধক।
আমার আত্মশুদ্ধি করলে।

এরপর অঝোর বৃষ্টির মধ্যে একটা টাটকা মদের গন্ধ,
তোমার নেশা করতে বসলে পাই।
এক এক ঢোঁকে ফুসফুস, বায়ুথলি, রক্তজালক শিরা, অলিন্দ, নিলয়...
তাই তোমার আমার দুর্বোধ্য শব্দে ওদের নজর।
ওরে, আমাদের সবচাইতে আলিশান প্রেম। বন্ধুতা!

আবার একদিন মাটি শুকনো, মেঘও, তুমি, আমি, গন্ধটা, শব্দবন্ধও;
তোমার থেকে নেওয়া আমার ফুরাবে না, ঋণের বোঝাও।
তত ভাবি আকাশের কোণ হোক কালো।
ছটফট মেঘ, খুশীর ঝিলিক, আরেকটা দেনায় ডুবি,
আরও একবার পাশাপাশি আসি।

তাইতো আবার বৃষ্টি,
সোঁদা গন্ধ, সোঁদা শব্দ,
আর একচিলতে তুমি।

- Arka Chakraborty

March 28, 2013

Poem: And Heaven Fell

Music floats to my ears,
From some long forgotten dream
Memories from a time kept guarded in the shades,
begin to come forward.
You were there, with me, beside, holding on to me.
The reason for my being.
Teaching me to love purely,
showing me a way to the light from the darkness
of my heart.
You saved me from drowning, you rescued me from
the depths of hell.
But you left as soon as the sun rose out from the clouds,
And for me....that's when heaven fell.

 I could feel it all, my world, our word,
crashing around me.
You never looked back. I am merely your distant memory.
Called upon at times when you need to be assured,
that when the day turns to dust -
there's still one person who you can trust.
To pick you up, to help you, and love you unconditionally.
For you, heaven did fall.
But not in the same way as me.
Your heaven is always at your beck and call.
While you watched my heaven fall.

But wasn't our heaven the same
Once upon a time?
Didn't you one day promise to be mine?
I have watched heaven fall,
And I have seen you through it all...
But I still tell my heart,
Someday I will wake up and see nothing changed.
One day, my heaven will come back again.

March 27, 2013

Poem: Colors and The Hills

"I don't wanna win this game,
if I can't play it my way."

Red. Purple. Green. Blue. 
All these colors, and the thoughts,
They all lead back to you. 

And you're far away...somewhere else.
Not in this city. Not in the place I knew.
Sometimes I stare at the phone,
and think of you.

"I know I gave it to you months ago,
I know you're trying to forget..."

Yet, I still think of you
Even when I shouldn't.
I tried to drown my wrong decisions,
Unfortunately - I couldn't.

"I wonder if she's much like me,
I wonder if she's what you need."

Sometimes, I still think we should've
taken things slow.
Then maybe things would've been different.
Because you never really know.

These colors they throw,
Decorating the skies in puffs of
Red. Purple. Green. Pink. Blue.
Make me think of the times spent with you.

"I'm a pretty impossible lady to be with."
Just like everyone before you,
You gave up. Though a part of you
Perhaps didn't want to.

And I'll bow down to your ego,
I'll bow down - because you never will.
You can go now. You're free.

"You taught me what it was, to feel the pain of love,
To feel like I don't ever want to let somebody else get so close to me again."

I know you are exactly where I needed to be to heal,
To mend my broken heart and learn to love again.
I'm not so scared anymore. Of those colors.

But of you.
Because I know you've changed.
I don't know you at all.
It's okay.

"Just pretend I didn't break your heart."
May the hills,
Heal your broken heart.
Make it whole again.

"But you were f***ing the girl next door,
What you do that for?"

Oh damn, I had forgotten about
Your little confession.
One that sucked all the color out of my life.
For awhile.
But now...I just smile.

Colors and the hills.
The perfect sweetness. The perfect coming together.
Perhaps, the perfect ending.