Poem: Thought Spiral

Don't think so
much.
Just be in this moment, isn't it pretty?
But I'm still looking at you.
Wondering how to tell you...
That I don't know how to stop thinking.
One little word can inflict so much of cruelty.
The cruelest things are often what we say to ourselves.
When everyone has left. When the light has been switched off.
When you're engulfed in the darkness,
That's when you need to remember
That you deserve kindness.
That you need to be kind to yourself.
It won't matter if they tell you over
And over again,
About how beautiful you are.
It won't matter if they tell you,
That you're truly blessed.
It won't matter that I'm lying next to you,
If I keep lying to myself.
Repeatedly.
I'm trying not to think so much.
Believe me. I've tried. I've tried.
Holding my breath.
Counting one to ten backwards.
Thinking happy thoughts.
Sometimes nothing works.
And I listen to the whisper, growing...
Until it nearly deafens me.
Buries me. And I…
Just be in this moment, isn't it pretty?
But I'm still looking at you.
Wondering how to tell you...
That I don't know how to stop thinking.
One little word can inflict so much of cruelty.
The cruelest things are often what we say to ourselves.
When everyone has left. When the light has been switched off.
When you're engulfed in the darkness,
That's when you need to remember
That you deserve kindness.
That you need to be kind to yourself.
It won't matter if they tell you over
And over again,
About how beautiful you are.
It won't matter if they tell you,
That you're truly blessed.
It won't matter that I'm lying next to you,
If I keep lying to myself.
Repeatedly.
I'm trying not to think so much.
Believe me. I've tried. I've tried.
Holding my breath.
Counting one to ten backwards.
Thinking happy thoughts.
Sometimes nothing works.
And I listen to the whisper, growing...
Until it nearly deafens me.
Buries me. And I…