Aniesha's Musings

Don't think so much.
Just be in this moment, isn't it pretty?
But I'm still looking at you.
Wondering how to tell you...
That I don't know how to stop thinking.
One little word can inflict so much of cruelty.
The cruelest things are often what we say to ourselves.
When everyone has left. When the light has been switched off.
When you're engulfed in the darkness,
That's when you need to remember
That you deserve kindness.
That you need to be kind to yourself.
It won't matter if they tell you over
And over again,
About how beautiful you are.
It won't matter if they tell you,
That you're truly blessed.
It won't matter that I'm lying next to you,
If I keep lying to myself.
Repeatedly.
I'm trying not to think so much.
Believe me. I've tried. I've tried.
Holding my breath.
Counting one to ten backwards.
Thinking happy thoughts.
Sometimes nothing works.
And I listen to the whisper, growing...
Until it nearly deafens me.
Buries me. And I…

I have been meaning to write this blog post for the longest time. In fact, I wanted to write the blog post right after the very first successful Books, Monsoon and Chai meet. The rain had played a spoilsport and made a lot of people miss that event. But it had been my favourite. Don’t ask me why. Because I wouldn’t be able to tell you or give you an answer that is satisfactory enough!
This was Pradipta’s idea. She had lived in Delhi for two years and she wanted to create an event that involved books. Back in 2016, she and another friend had conducted the first ever book event. Back then, it wasn’t called Books over Chai.
When she moved back to Kolkata in early 2017 she shared that she would like to take up hosting the event again. And because I was working in a job that involved me deeply in the world of books and literature, I agreed to help her. I cannot tell you exactly when the helping turned into collaborating with her fulltime on the project. Because even though Books over Chai is…