January 4, 2013

What's it gonna be?



Six years.
Haven't I been tortured enough?
Don't you think six years have been a long, long time.
I'm so sorry
But you were never my friend.
Because I cannot be friends with someone
I've had a major crush on
Since the time I was seventeen.

And I remember waiting,
Tirelessly, night after night
Despite knowing you might never come
I would wait by the phone,
Debate whether to call your home
And then I finally caved to your wishes
And got my own phone.

Remember how I'd startled you
With that first text
Out of the blue?
And how you made me keep waiting,
And waiting on you?

Then one day, when I
decided enough was enough
And I moved on.
You came to your senses and said,
"I love u."

I couldn't handle that,
That has always been my bitterest
Deepest regret
Not being able to say 'yes'
Because you've just no clue,
How much I've been in love with you.

I hate the feeling
Of having to had suppressed
The secret crush, and a little love
That I had always harbored towards you.

Though you say, 'we are just friends'
Though sometimes you make it crystal clear
and quite hurtfully so, to me,
That this is the place where we'll ever be.

I can't help having the faint ray of hope,
The quiet dreams of you and I,
And thousand stars lighting up the sky.

I know I had a chance,
And I know how much it hurt when I turned
My back on you,
But darling, admit it now.
You did make me wait, a little too late,
On you.

Six years later,
Now I finally have the courage
And now I'm asking you
If I said, "I love u"
Would you find it in your heart
to say, "I love u too?"

Could you erase the past,
and begin again?
Would you believe the girl
Who helped you through your dark days?
The one you abandoned
when things didn't go your way?

Or would you think this is the best time
To say goodbye?

Either way, darling, I need an answer.
Because I'm so tired of guessing
What's going on in your head
and the connection with your heart?

Six years is a long, long time
And I've been hurt enough
So don't be afraid to tell me the truth
I've learned not to hate love.

Tell me without a single worry,
How I would handle this news...
Trust me, dear,
If you want me to leave you in peace
I will quietly slip away.

And you can begin again,
Treat tomorrow as a new day.

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