September 21, 2013

Musing: You're NOT lonely, even if you are ALONE!

Of late, lots of my friends have been whining (sometimes subtly) how they still haven't found that someone special but the birthdays are passing by faster than you can say, "Jack Robinson." While being in a relationship is not necessarily a bad thing, having seen both sides of the coin I know one thing for sure. There's nothing wrong in waiting for someone special. In fact, one shouldn't be rushing into love and a relationship with the first person that catches their eye, just because they're tired of feeling alone.



Take a cue from Kelly Clarkson... "It doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone..." And it's true. There's nothing wrong in being by yourself. It means you get more time to get to know yourself, find our your interests, your likes and dislikes. And I quote, "How can you expect anyone else to enjoy your company if you don't enjoy your own company?"

Recently my fellow blogger, friend and sister, Sudeshna, posted a Happiness is update...which got me thinking, why being by yourself has its perks. So here's a list we came up with:


1. Midnight phone calls, messages, whatsapp conversations with whoever you please. And you don't even have to worry about keeping your phone free...because, no jealous boyfriend/girlfriend might be calling you at that hour right? ;)

2. Having the time to just sit back, relax and read.... Relationships do not just fall into place, no matter how many times you guys try to convince of it. Any relationship needs time and effort to survive. Except for your best friends, I doubt anyone else will forgive you for ignoring their texts and calls for six straight hours, just because the latest bestseller you got your hands on was simply unputdownable!!!



3. And the money to buy these books in the first place!!! I am quite sure most of us used to save up our pocket money for the trips to eat, buy presents, and even watch movies... if you're as much a book lover as I am, it would fill you with unspeakable joy just to spend all that cash on books, books and MORE books!!!

4. Being by yourself means you have ample time on your hands and it's up to you how you want to spend it. If you're one of those unfortunate souls who just got out of a relationship, allow yourself a few days to mourn. True, a few days would seem almost empty and without color...once a week or two, or even a month has passed, go out and take up that hobby you always wanted to pursue. For me, it was a million hobbies. I never found the time to go after them, because my spare time was spent on the phone or texting or IMing.... for the hobbies, take your pick.


5. The hobbies I took up were: i. Jewelry making, ii. Fabric painting, iii. Water painting, iv. Making handicrafts v. Cooking etc etc...

6. The extra time on my hands prompted me to revamp my old blog, and get it up and running...I participated in contests, won a fair few stuff and the best part? I am now have many blogger friends. Before my circle was limited to school and college friends and at the most the friends of friends...But thanks to the network I build through blogging, I have friends all over the country! Now, isn't this a hobby you're just itching to try for yourself?


7. How about volunteering for an NGO? True you won't get paid, but even knowing you can make a difference is enough incentive to make you do something...try teach the kids of the slum dwellers. You would know in an hour why you are much better off than they are. And why having no one to share your tea with in the evening is the least of your worries...



8. Speaking for sharing, my friend and fellow blogger, Swarnali, pointed out a very good point. As long as you're by yourself, you don't have to share your ice cream sundae with any one. Or any kind of dessert for that matter. Now, isn't that pure bliss? ;)



9. Take your phone and scroll through the contacts list...do you see some familiar names but cannot recall when was the last time you spoke to them? Maybe it's time to either text them or call them, or even make plans to catch up with them. You never know...you might just end up restoring a friendship and make a friend worth treasuring for life. And once again, I speak from experience. 



10. Another piece of good advice is, do not go looking for love. You will never find it that way....instead, let it come and hit you when you least expect it. While people who like drawing, painting, writing, blogging, reading books have it easy - people who do not have hobbies, tend to have a harder time being on their own. Umm...how about some good movies then? I personally recommend Disney's classics and having a ball all by yourself! If nothing else, it restores your faith in the happily ever after. 


So remember... there's nothing wrong with being by yourself. Do not ever feel bad just because you don't seem to be the only one without a date on Friday night. Just get out that book you've never gotten around to reading, or finally put on the movie you've been meaning to see, or dig out that old diary you tucked away thinking you'd pen down your thoughts later....

Then tell me on Saturday, how your Friday evening was spent?

9 comments:

  1. Gee.. I got mentioned.
    And yes, you're a savior.
    Muah! :* :* :*

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    Replies
    1. Awelleh...of course you did!!! You're the one who got me thinking about this in the first place!
      *tightest hug*
      Mwahhhhh :-*

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  2. Replies
    1. You're most welcome, Apoorva!!! :) Welcome to my blog...

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  3. getting up at 2 o'clock at noon! gf thakle esob just hoy na!! :D

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    Replies
    1. Agreed!!! and no mandatory and silly good morning messages... :D

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  4. Thank you for the honourable mention, milove :P I so agree with this one. as long as you don't love and treasure yourself, know yourself entirely, you are never going to find the correct person who will love you for everything that you are. You are perfect, so beYOUtiful :* And I am so glad I tumbled into the blogging world and made friends like you :D I suppose that wouldn't have happened had I been stuck being in a life sucking relationship :P

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    Replies
    1. Ha ha ha!!! Agreed.
      And thank God I found you when I did, you kept my sanity at the beginning of this year. ^_^
      We spend too much time making ourselves perfect in the eyes of someone who'd love us...
      The first person who should see us perfectly is obviously ourselves. :)
      And as for the mention - it was absolutely necessary? Who wants to share a sundae, anyway? ;)

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