Musing: Why We'll Perhaps Never Be Friends...

Today is a very important day for me. Besides this being my brother-in-law's birthday, it is also the day my 2nd published work saw the light of the day. I had been struggling to find a publisher post The Secret Proposal. I do have another novel coming out this year: but it was after a year and half of struggle that I finally landed LiFi Publications.

And once IndiReads came along, there was no looking back. I can see now how different my writing is now from what it used to be...and I'm going towards my goal of weaving stories out of words which would leave everyone spellbound.

'Writer' - that's who I always wanted to be. That's who I've told myself I am.:-)

My Writing Desk, The Diary, and the Frog Lamp 
The other thing that came home to me was the realization as to why I had - for the longest time - not really gotten along with someone. With all his over enthusiasm and a force of will which would put the average twenty something's to shame - he took something away from me: blogging.

I know this sounds absolutely absurd! How could anyone take "blogging" away from you? But he did exactly that.



Blogging to me was a safe little place where I could write my thoughts and share them with like-minded people. It was my own little safe little haven - and the people the blog drew into my life were nothing short of truly amazing. It's part of my life to meet up for coffee, to drop a line or any random things - they were so intertwined with my life.

And then came the revolution. Suddenly 'blogging' became a thing and I no longer could hide behind my musings. I have been forced to speak in public, thrown fits and been featured so very colorfully in others' blogs. The rug I'd so far stood on happily had been pulled from under my feet. As I fell I looked around and narrowed my eyes at the one I held responsible for this downfall of mine. And I stayed too busy still not liking him, I didn't notice other pairs of hands had shot out, and steadied me before I hit the ground. And the voices tried to calm me down saying, "Don't trip over your own words, girl!" And the other less sympathetic voice said, "This was for your own good - don't you know? How long are you going to hide in the shadows?"

No, I didn't know. And I refused to know. For someone who had walked off the stage without saying a singled word when she was nine - there's a lot of difficulty to find her way back. I hated being ambushed. I hated being forced back into the public eye again. And I never did forgave you for that stunt you pulled, stud.

But now....almost a year later, my anger has faded. And herein the new realization has dawned: I disliked you for taking my safe haven away from me. But since I had this screwed up notion of blogs bringing about more like-minded people, I tried to be friends. Nevertheless, it's pretty weird being friends when all you are is pretty hostile and horrible to each other.

And it was only yesterday that I realized why we could never be friends. Why we would perhaps never be friends. We are a little too similar. And if you've only showed your worst side to people, they more often that not, return the favor.

In summary: 

"We don't mean to hurt each other but we do.
And perhaps no matter how right we are for each other, we'll always be a little too wrong."
- Anonymous 

3 comments:

  1. :) I cannot comment anything since I know the background of this post.

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  2. This is life. You get up when you fall (no matter the reason behind the low). You rise more and you are stronger, which shows your will to succeed. Keep it up!!

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