Musing: Why I Choose NOT To Get Married At 25 (or anytime soon)!

I know posts like these have been doing the rounds on the internet of late, but I just have to vent about this somewhere. And what better way to keep a check on myself than broadcasting my thoughts all over the web via my blog. (Thank God I write - I think I'd have gone crazy by now had not been taking deep breaths and reminding myself I'd end up getting my revenge on print!)

I was dragged, practically kicking and screaming, to a family get together. (I keep telling my mother how much I loathe these little dinner parties and rightfully so.) My brother and I are the only ones left among the whole effing family tree of cousins who have reached the 'eligible age' of getting married. So everyone wanted to know when they'd finally get married because - well, hold your breath - they want to celebrate our wedding before old age claims them as victims. 

I wanted to roll my eyes and tell them that getting married is the last thing on my mind. When my abbu (second uncle) insisted that he would be too old to do all that is necessary for my wedding, I told him that the money he has decided to spend on my wedding, should just be given to me as a gift. Hell, I could fund myself a world tour with it! Of course, except my brother and my mother, no one was amused by this suggestion.

I find it hard to explain to people why I'd choose not to get married. I get misunderstood (like my brother-in-law thought I believe getting married was something unnatural...I mean, what the hell?) and seriously judged (not to name names, but plenty of my school friends, think that I should get married because firstly, they'd get to enjoy an elaborate party -keep up this line of thought and let's see if I end up inviting you guys to the party- and secondly, because they believe I'm getting old too and I'm downright strange for not wanting to get married)!

Darjeeling 2012: How I wish I could go back there!!!
I was discussing life with Soumma the other day. According to her, two of our classmates are doing well, because one of them landed a job at a National Bank after Masters and the other sailed away to Minnesota for his PhD. I shrugged and said, "But I still would say I'm living an adventure." She'd smirked and said, "But that's self boasting."

Well, maybe it is. But I am rightfully proud of the little things that I achieved which led to the bigger things. It had always been my dream to become a write one day. And it was my mother who supported the decision throughout. She didn't complain about my endless purchasing of exercise books, and once I could get them for myself, the pretty range of notebooks. I bought myself a new notebook despite already having a good six unused ones in the cupboard. I'm a hoarder of pretty notebooks.

I love writing and I honestly would love to write a novel one day, which would put me on the map, much like the way John Green or J.K Rowling got put on the map. Since I didn't give up on that dream, and kept waiting for opportunity to come knocking on my door, my hard work paid off when I bagged a writing contract with IndiReads. 

This keeps me busy because I'm forever thinking of new plots, new characters and there are times, I fall off from the face of the earth and refuse to even come out of my room. I'll go back to normal in a week or so, and pretend like I'd never disappeared. I dare you to find me a guy who'd respect me and trust me enough not to take this personally, and accept this as a part of my very fatal flaw. I'd marry him in a heartbeat. (My ex-boyfriends went running when the crazy Aniesha had come to the surface). Of course now I've made friends with my crazy version, so the new friends I made in 2013, all knew about how crazy I could possibly be. 

Singapore 2014: I love my own company. That is why I'm never alone or bored!
After the painful experience of a breakup, I'd learned the most valuable lesson of all times: Learn to love your own company, that way you'll never be alone. Truly, I've never felt so good about myself. I love books and I've made sure I've an endless supply of them. (When sometimes I am too cranky and begin to obsess over sitcoms but they don't last very long.) But my relationship with books is very serious. Granted that my preferred genre is Young Adult...I still get a kick out reading a very well told story.

I might be one of the few 25 year olds who is on her merry way of living her dream, and is at the same time grappling with writing her MPhil thesis, under the supervision of a very nice guide. (I never seem to be able to meet deadlines for some reason - getting distracted seems to be my special gift). 

So whoever wants to get married to me for the rest of their lives, should remember, that when I begin reading a book or obsessing over a tv series, they're going to have to put up with my endless rants and theories. Show me a guy who's going to live through that without wanting to strangle me at least once and I'll show you my wedding venue.

And these are just two of the many qualities that I would look for in a list goes on with should be able to cook, would be able to do the laundry and so and so forth. 

If you are 25 and are married, or about to be married, or got married at 25, no offence to you. But some of us are wired differently. While I find it heartbreaking to see so many of the friends I grew up with conforming to the norms of the society and start talking about their weddings, I'm so glad God blessed me with a mother who thinks marriage does not necessary have to be the ultimate plan of my life. I don't care how boastful this sounds - but of all the people I went to school with - I'm still the one going through life as though it's a wonderful adventure. 

I might have changed. But the unparalleled happiness the change brought me has made everything that I lost during the change worth it. 


  1. Go, girl. Live your life the way you want and not the way others want. There is no specific age for marriage and if you think it isn't necessary to get married and life is awesome the way it is, then that is the way it is. :)


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