Musing: A Piece of My Childhood
This is going to be my 180th blog post, and since it's the 180th one...I thought tonight, I could revisit my childhood for a bit. What started this wave of nostalgia was of because of Sudeshna calling me, "Poochie". I remembered suddenly who Poochie had been and what he'd meant to be all through my childhood and teenage life, stopping short only during the time I entered the Masters' level in University.
I used to be a very scared child. And for some reason I thought the ghosts, the monsters, the devil and the demons could never get to me, as long as I held on tightly to Poochie. I had a family of bears arranged neatly, throughout the day, next to my pillow...and when I went to sleep, they'd all be lying down too. But Poochie would always be cuddled up right next to me. There were nights I would be only able to sleep properly, because I was holding on tight to Poochie's paw.
The first trip I couldn't fit Poochie into my bag was during the time I packed for Singapore. My sister called up impatiently wanting to know if I'd started for the airport yet.
For some reason, Pippo didn't like Poochie. I had caught him way too many times trying to nibble my old savior's paws and tail. Or Pippo trying to strike him with his own paws... -_- That was when I was forced to make Poochie retire...he too became one of the stuffed animals I simply displayed. I even forgot the countless nights, Poochie had seen me through...as I cried myself to sleep after bad results, a horrible fight, realizing a best friend is jealous, being angry about circumstances...etc...
|My Beloved Poochie|
My Poochie was a stuffed teddy bear I'd got as a present from a distant relative when I was around 6 years old. I'd received a slew of teddy bears, all of whom, I had named Poochie before this darling arrived. All of them had been discarded, one for another...until this handsome dude you see in the picture above came into my life. Somehow, no matter how many stuffed toys came into my life, Poochie had captured my heart forever.
|Me with Poochie, My Sister and My Brother|
Even when I turned 18, I didn't outgrow the habit of not having Poochie in my arms at night. My mother never said anything...knowing I found comfort in the teddy bear. My brother and my sister had always found it amusing.... so much so that my sister even found something for Poochie and posted it to my timeline way back in 2008, when she'd first moved to Singapore.
|I bet this is what the people who have soft toys next to their pillow feel like!!!|
Honestly...who knows if the monsters under the bed do come alive when we are fast asleep. For all I could know, Poochie could've been saving my life all along.
I didn't like traveling without Poochie...so everywhere we went, Poochie went with me. Even in 2010, when I went to visit Pondicherry, one of the first things I had put inside my bag was Poochie:
|2010, I knew I would only take Poochie along with me to Pondicherry|
I still remember wailing to her, "Didi!! I cannot fit Poochie into my bag...how am I going to sleep at night now?"
"Uff!!! I have lots of stuffed animals here...just cuddle one and sleep when you get here!" she'd said, exasperatedly. I guess it wasn't so cute when your twenty one year old sister begins sniffling about unfitting soft toys...
When I did go to Singapore, I borrowed the donkey they had. But I missed the familiarity of the paws which had kept me sane through so many years...the first night, I missed Poochie terribly. From the second on wards, Donkey and I had become each other's best friend.
Poor Poochie was completely forgotten when two years ago, a live soft toy simply walked into my life and has yet to show signs of wanting to move on from me.
|Pippo....the live soft toy!!!|
I had forgotten how much a soft toy had once meant to me. Not just during the time I was a kid but even after I'd grown up... The funny little cat had simply head butted my old favorite toy out of the picture.
|1997, 2005, 2008 - The Poochie Factor|
Sitting on Didi's Lap, with Poochie on Mine :D
When Sudeshna called me Poochie, I looked over to where my Poochie had been sitting for so long, and thought that he looked rather sad. I picked him up, gave him a hug and decided, I'm never going to grow too old to have him lying right next to me.
He had been my bestest friend during my darkest hours. Call me kiddish, but some sentiments do get attached to inanimate objects. Pippo will just have to deal with the fact Poochie is there on his sister's bed despite his immense dislike for my helpless stuffed toy.