I might be known as the person who constantly thinks about people about leaving. As the person who believes everything in life being temporary – after all, aren’t we all waiting for the next best thing? In a world where the only constant is change, how do you find your people? How do you find your tribe? How do you find the people who vibe well with you? Who not only put up with but celebrate your crazy? Figure out ways to keep your crazy in control? How do you find your true soul mates in this world of 7.5 billion people?
Honestly, there is no easy answer for this. The one easy thing about this rather complicated question is that soul mate does not necessarily have to be your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife. As one of my constants recently pointed out to me, soul mates can be your best friends too. Friends you share completely platonic relationships with.
I got lucky that I found my tribe in college. Literally on the first day of college, I met my mother’s namesake. Our friendship has not been the easiest of roads to travel. But despite all our fights, our disagreements, our 4 am texts to each other, she constantly watching me screw up and patting me on the head, every time I told her I wanted to quit – it’s been one of the wildest journeys of our lives. When we graduated college and moved into jobs, it got difficult to keep in touch. But we did it anyway. Now that I live in a different city, it’s texting here and there. Random calls at random times. Yet I am convinced if I ever truly need her, she will abandon everything and come to my aid. Because that is the kind of friendship we have built up during our decade of knowing each other.
My second constant was someone I had known all through my college days but we became much closer and our understanding grew a little later. She pulled me out of some of the darkest days of my life. Scolded me at times when I am sure most people would have mollycoddled me. We may live in two different cities, and she might fly around India a lot (except Mumbai), but I never feel that she is far away. She has always been there. One text away, one phone call away, one bad decision, or one mistake – everything has always been super solvable for her. With her around, I genuinely believe I cannot screw up. It just gets easier to believe in yourself if you know there is someone in your life who believes in you no matter what. I like how even today when I let anxiety get the better of me, she is there reminding me that not everyone who comes into my life is about to hurt me. She reminds me to keep a track of my crazy thoughts. She reminds me of her own anxiety and to be more empathetic towards others. You know how some people find their homes in the comfort of writing or their art? I just think sometimes just a normal conversation with her is my home.
The last but not the least constant is someone I met during my Masters in college. I love how accepting she was of everyone and everything around her. Her motto in life seems to be a huge fan of peace. I spilled my heart out to her on one particularly heartbroken evening in the ledge of JU, and while we talk of that night often, we never talk about the contents of that conversation. For that, I am ever so grateful. Until she feels passionately about something – that is when I have seen the fierce side of her come out. She is halfway across the world now. But we are both well informed about the going-on about all our lives. For despite the distance, we have managed to keep in touch and talk on a daily basis. And I don’t mean the hi-hello kind of conversations. I mean the conversations where we discuss our lives, the issues of the world, and whatever one of us has achieved that week.
I love my tribe. Some days, I wonder how did we all cross paths and make the decision to just stay. I am not the easiest of people to deal with. Neither are any of them. But we have made a wonderful friendship. Not the kind you see depicted on television shows and movies. This is real life.
I might keep meeting people who gift me precious memories and leave. But, no matter what, I know these are the people who are going to stay. After all, they are my constants.