Musings: How I Look At Friendships
High School Musical was one weird movie but there was this particular scene I really liked. Gabriella tells Troy things were easier when they were younger. You would sit next to each other, share a box of crayons during class, and suddenly you were the best of friends! They were in High School and they found it difficult to just be friends with each other.
My one year away from home taught me that as we grow up, we tend to put the least effort in our friendships. But if you have had the friends that I am constantly surrounded by, you would understand why to me friendships are important. It doesn’t matter if you came into my life twelve years ago or two weeks ago. If we are friends, I would treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
My friends taught me that it is okay to go the extra distance for each other. That it is perfectly okay to fall apart every once in a while. That while we enjoy each other’s company sitting at a rooftop bar, we would show up for each other at 6:00am just to keep our traditions alive! They taught me that no matter how many friends we make, we always have space in our lives and in our hearts for new ones.
I realized that once we reach a certain age we tend to focus more on relationships, going out on dates, and get caught up in this craze of trying to find ‘the one’. Maybe they exist. Maybe the don’t. The point is it is alright to stop being so sold on the idea of romance. It is perfectly okay to go out with your friends – be it new or old, be it male or female – and just have a good time.
Dating is a problematic term. Just because two people are sitting together, enjoying a conversation over a drink or two, one cannot call it a date. What is a date anyway? That’s a topic up for debate!
If I am answering your text messages in the middle of the night, it is not because I am secretly in love with you. It is mostly because I care about you enough to respond. If I am the one texting you first, it’s because you are someone I want to hear from and know what’s going on in your life. If I am the one who’s told you to meet up soon, it isn’t because I am desperate to just go out. I like your company and I do want to be around you more.
The friends I have make friendships easy. Maybe that’s why if you’re in my life, you think I am giving you special treatment. The truth is, I am treating you the way I treat all of my favourite human beings. I am unconditionally there for you the same way I meet my friends the same day I arrive in my hometown, the same way I meet them in the morning to keep our traditions alive. It is the same affection that makes me texts my friends in Mumbai, letting them know I will be back soon even though my flight is extremely delayed.
I understand that when someone new comes into my life it gets a little overwhelming for them. Confused, they wonder what they could have possibly done and what I might want from them. Believe me, I want nothing from you. The kind of friendships I’m surrounded by makes me richer than anyone would ever know. We are who we are. This is who I am.
Friends are allowed to go the distance for you. To ask you how you are doing, turn up at your place when you really need them and also be the safe haven where you can relax and just be yourself. While your soulmate could be your home, your friendships can also be a source that provides you with endless comfort. And, please let’s get rid of this notion that you will only put in this effort for the friends you’ve known forever. Your best friend, one that understands you like no other could have walked into your life at twenty-seven, when you were not looking and now you cannot imagine a life without them! And the best friend you thought was solely yours from the age of ten could have been the person you never really liked in the first place. Time, quite honestly, is not a measure of friendship. Only friendship can be the measure of friendship.
A friend of mine once described herself as being like whiskey – you need to develop a taste for it. As more days pass by, I realize I am the same way. It takes a while to get used to me. Yet, I am pretty sure once you do, you’re going to miss me when I am gone.