BREAKING THE HABIT - the last poem



Would you call me crazy; for when I cannot speak
WORDS escape from the tip of my pen?
Would you call it insanity -
that all my emotions stay buried, far away
because I feel the world shouldn't see me this way.
For I know no one would understand
And I am unable to speak,
When emotions tear at my soul...
my eyes invariably search for pen and paper,
I'm breaking the habit tonight.

This is the last time, the very last
that all I feel and how I see the world
finds its place on paper; strung together
in so many words.
It is perhaps because I think too much
and let those emotions flow wild
I ended up as the confused child...
No matter what thought, feeling or person
comes my way, teases my will - to never find a muse,
know this: I will never write again.
The habit gets broken tonight....

Tied Down


Don't tell me, that this is wrong
and don't raise your eyebrows at me...
Trying to search for the truth beyond the apparent thing
Please don't look at me with those accusatory eyes.

Can you try to understand, please,
that someone like me can never get tied down?
It's not that I cannot love,
But because I love differently.

Would just try once, and say if you really understand me?

A person like me can give you,
more than what you bargained for - unconditional love
a questionless life
and yet we remain miles apart!

Guilt is consuming me from the inside.
Please don't make it worse by the accusing look on your face...
I can only but try; but it would take sometime for mind to erase.
Give me sometime and only then would I get tied down.

I can intertwine myself with you,
Breathe the breaths of air you take in.
Become one with you.

But what I cannot do...

Is to promise, that others would inspire me
And maybe I would have feelings for them too -
Nevertheless, I can assure you.

My love for you is the strongest.
It would survive of us...so let me be
and try to get me.

Until I get tied down.

...Rohini...

They say good friends come to an end when you leave school,
and they say if you think you've a good friend in college -

You're nothing but a fool.

They say that college cannot outnumber the fun
you had
back in those years
When childhood was the new experience
with fun and laughter and tears...

They say a lot of things.

But they never told me about the people I would meet here:

RoHiNi

In some ways, she remains a silly naive child
But she shares the soul -
of a young woman in the making
About to conquer the world.
About to face a new dawn that's breaking...

And her laughter, rings in the air,
She gazes around wildly at times -
Wondering why the world never seems to be there...
Where she had always thought it belonged.

At times she cries, curses at life
The next minute she laughs,
Unpredictable girl - caught between -
the ecstasy of childhood and the duties of an adult.
Caught in the moment between girl and woman.

In some ways, she is the grown up
Gracefully gliding through her life -
Messing it up in some instances, and handling the job well
when it comes to others...
But no matter what, she'll always remain:

Our Rohini,
a very
dearly beloved sister and friend
Until the very end...



Poem: MUSE


I've always liked keeping my distance from people
and things that fascinate me,
That make me look deep within my own soul
and search for answers, I know might never get...

But these people (and I thank God for bringing them to me)
are sometimes my very reason for happiness.

From a safe way off, I drink in the joy
the sounds of laughter and when their eyes stray towards me
I smile unknowingly
and they, they try to hide their surprise and smile back.

Ah people, the ones who inspire me to write
would you never learn why I love you so?

Yes - I admit it. I have pretty strong feelings for you,
A part of me would always love you more than anyone else does
But at the same time learn to know,
I haven't fallen in love with you.

Can't you understand? You helped me create a beautiful thing,
A lovely piece people like to term "poetry"....

You were the reason why out of my pen flew
so many inspired writing, so many pages got filled in.
They were born from the glimpses I caught of you.
Born from the minutes I spent with you.

I cannot expect you to understand the worth you have in my life,
You wouldn't get it. You would think me to be wrong.

And though my feelings for you would remain strong,
and from my the depths of my heart I apologize, if I've hurt you...
I am bound in the way I see the world,
and in that world you're simply my muse...

My inspiration to create... my personal angel,
Whose one smile could break me into a million words of poetry.

If Only Walls Could Talk...

If walls could talk, they would probably not gossip
as much as we petty humans do....
They wouldn't really care
even if they did witness things
that are perhaps not - well, acceptable.

It is we humans who cannot take things normally,
you are always trying to see,
Beyond what our eyes let us.
On the surface, we reason, but deep down inside
that is always our question.

But what if, what your eye can see
is exactly what is the truth?
If only those walls could talk,
they would tell you...
Don't go looking beyond what is apparent
Because reality just might kill you.

You Make Me Crazier


They say actions speak louder than words,
But how do you put "silence" into acts??
Dreaming of you,
Every minute spent with you...smiling as I remember...

You make me crazier...

A soft sigh to myself,
I will never have what I wanted to all long,
We both know too well,
That "we" just don't belong.

But still you make me crazier...

Some part of me clings to your memories,
Still loves you more than anyone else does...
Knowing very well, it is never going to happen.
It'll always be the way it was with us.

You and I both know,
(Almost too well)
This is how our lives will go.

You still make me crazier, with every passing day.